31 October 2006

this week i ave mostly been...

--mangoes. Thank you thank you thank you for summer fruit + the advent of mango season. I could eat ten of them in a row. (Or perhaps not, but I want to eat ten in a row… if only to see what happens.) I can never resist sucking the seeds, in an attempt to get at every last drop of goodness, and then I end up with stringy mango teeth. It is a price I am willing to pay.
--chocolate hazelnut nougat. Smokey bought an enormous bar of it at Legs11 on Friday night + it was divine. Mmmm… nougat. Thanks Smokey!
--hot lemon + honey. Too many colds going round for my liking. Stay away.

smiling at…
--Emma Magenta. I bought The Peril of Magnificent Love, an incredibly gorgeous book, + had a little cry when I read it last night. No wonder… our heroine discovers love’s path is fraught with illusion and strewn with disappointment. Nevertheless, [she] overcomes her disillusions and finds new possibilities and strength in the lessons she has learned. (Stolen from official blurb.)

This could be another case of Clairey succumbing to twee sentimentality, but it so isn’t. Magenta’s drawings are stunning – simple but rich + multi-layered. The kind of drawing style that I covet in intense + unspeakable ways. She speaks so honestly about the risks we take, + the rewards we find, when we are willing to love ourselves magnificently.

--my family + that bloody stubborn streak that runs through every one of us. I want to relinquish it but I’m fighting against the gods of familial conditioning. The alternative – as always – is to laugh.

--Ben. I’ve had a shitty morning at work. Showdown with the office dragon + lots of shifting of furniture. Stiff neck, headache, general grumps. I run into Ben + he gives me one of his hugs, his big embrace that makes my soul soar. I feel lifted. I feel like I could melt. And no, I do not want to get into his pants.

--Lady Adi. You go girl! I can’t express how good it is to be sharing this journey of re-discovery with you. I know it sounds cheesey but it’s the truth. I feel braver having you out in the big bad world with me, exploring the same ground + breaking those invisible rules. How free are we? How good does it feel? Long live the dirty thirties I say!

listening to…
--the pod on shuffle between la Gong + the Can. Lazy but so good.
--a fabulous country-ish mixed tape from Shady – no idea who any of the artists are but I will be grilling her when we meet next.
--Jose… when in doubt, still pulling Jose Gonzales out. Lord I love that man.

--Season One of Grey’s Anatomy with Weeze. Embrace the guilty pleasure.
--Laurel Canyon on DVD with me ma. When will I learn to pick raunch-free options for this kind of shared viewing? It was great though. Frances McDormand rocks + I could watch Christian Bale all day. As always, much empathy for tales of dysfunctional families.

30 October 2006

word of the week

1. a. trans. To make small alterations or additions to one's toilet, etc. so as to add to one's attractions; to make smart or spruce; to ‘touch up’ in the way of adornment, put the finishing touches to. Also with off, up.

Sounds rude but I don't think it is. We're all titivating in front of the mirror all the time. To "titivate off"... well that's a whole other story!

Word of last week was molosser, courtesy of Big Brain Bez. The Oxford doesn't even know bout this one, although they do define molossian as "designating or relating to a breed of large dog resembling a mastiff, said to have originated in Molossia in ancient Epirus". How apt is that for describing a big bruiser of a dog? Try it next time you run into one + check out the warm vocab-enhanced glow it brings.

I am going to be good tomorrow + make time for a proper post. Damn you busy life/long but not-long-enough weekend/endless wasted hours in a car to Canberra/new boyfriend-type-person/giggly breathless phone conversations! I need double the available time. At least.

16 October 2006


Attempting a fit-everything-into-a-half-hour-lunchbreak challenge. Typing + eating are not sympathetic activities though. Free-falling salmon and asparagus pie crumbs. Fingers sticky with freshly cut orange. Please don't consider the state of my keyboard or the bacterial ramifications of this post.

Now that I'm here I'm wondering what to say. A colleague recently commented that blogs are boring. And I concede that she's right. But here we all are. By 'we all' I mean me + the resounding silence that meets me when when I throw my bits n bobs out to the worldwideweb. It raises all sorts of questions, the most persistent being WHY? I'm having fun okay. Leave me alone. (Oh, hang on, you already are.)

This week's Illo Friday topic is smitten. I've had no big brainwaves about what to create, but it is a very appropriate topic because I have another crush. 500th for the year. At this point I need to confess that I've returned to the internet meat-market (please note: with many reservations + a sad sense of resignation). I've been bored okay? If there's no possibility of romantic spark in my life I go mildly insane... + if there's no possibility of a shag... there, said it. I can admit to these sad truths, high-disclosure queen that I am. So I have a crush. On someone I haven't met. The basis of the crush is that his name is Gus + he has a quirky sense of humour. That's all it takes. Decent name, ability to make me giggle in some unpredictable way. He's a bald Kiwi with creative writing aspirations. Sound familiar? Okay, so I have a crush + some alarm bells echoing in the distance. I'm meeting him on Saturday + pledging not to spend any more time thinking about it until then. Woops... too late.

There is something so exciting about a crush. They should bottle it + sell it.

12 October 2006

illustration friday: trouble

there will be trouble
mixed media

06 October 2006

this week i ave mostly been...

--pantry remnants. What is it with me + supermarkets? I cannot manage shopping at the moment, although I did at least pick up some fresh vitals this week. Oh fruit, food of the gods.
--embarrassing confession coming… coke zero. I don’t know why but stress + fatigue have lead me down the caffeine-+-chemicals pathway this week. I’ve done it twice now, very unlike me, + I will ditch it after today. Promise.
-- a great cous cous salad, with chicken, roast red peppers, lots of herbs + some dried currants + apricots.

smiling at…
--my gorgeous sister. It has to be said again, sorry! The check-in phonecalls + beautiful card saved me. What would I do without you Weeze?
--Bez + her outlook on life. ‘Nacho Libre’ was potentially the worst movie I’ve ever seen… but also an enormous bundle of laughs in your company mate. I haven’t giggled like that in eons.
--my idiot love life… still. Okay, so smiling + crying in equal measure, but that’s the nature of it. Thank you to CJ for summing it up so aptly with the phrase If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead?

listening to…
--back catalogue from A Tribe Called Quest. Good walking music. 'Bonita Applebum' remains at the top of my list of potential all-time-faves, even though I will never have the discipline to commit to one song.

--Jack Black’s unlikely facial contortions. See above.

03 October 2006

illustration friday: quiet

falling (quiet after explosion)
watercolour + pencil

making luuuuurve

Don't get too excited!

I've been battling my burgeoning in-box over the long weekend, wading through long unanswered correspondence + trying to be a Good Friend. I have one from a mate who shall be known as the Notorious A.N.G. He is playing provocateur - as usual - + looking for a rise on the pseudo-philosophy outlined below. I can't even read it without my brain fuzzing out + going into the red zone...

Woman's subconscious dependence on the fluctuating sexual attention of men rules her choice of partner. She may go for either an exciting man whom she thinks she can control. Or an agreeable and safe partner whom she can quietly bend to her wants. Both kinds of partnership usually end in either disaster or boredom and frustration.

Male sexuality is put into woman in sexual intercourse and because it is substantive it stays on in her. It's effect is a periodic wispy shadow of depression that she can't explain but accepts as normal. It clouds her perception, making her feel emotional and not herself.

The same male sexuality is the active outgoing selfish drive which made the world a violent and loveless place. In woman the destructive shadow of man subtly influences her choice of a partner. So very seldom is he mister right.

The male shadow in her is doubt, and it is the shadow that chooses. While woman wants the right to choose, she has to make a choice. And then she must live with the shadow doubt, in the man and in herself.

Woman in her natural state is not dependant on man. She loves him and in love there is no dependence, no attachment, and no fear of losing. She is the passive attracting principle; she is an irresistible living magnet. She draws to herself a right man to love her truly and divinely. There's no choice in it.

For woman today to return to her natural golden state takes time. But having suffered enough from man's sexuality she gradually learns not to compromise where there is not enough love. Finally this brings her a man who can remove the shadow from his love."

Excerpt from "Making Love" by Barry Long (transribed from tape...)

I'd like to make some sensible comments A, really I would. But firstly I don't understand it, + secondly it just sounds like misogynistic bullshit to me. I dunno, maybe I am getting unecessarily caught up in self-righteousness.

I'm keen on the idea of reaching a natural golden state... as long as it doesn't involve golden showers... + I reckon our mate Bazz might just be headed in that direction. Would I have to wear yellow all the time? Cos that doesn't work with my complexion. As for not compromising where there isn't enough love... well if only it were that straightforward.

How does the old raincoat impact on 'substantive male sexuality'?

Any other thoughts?

02 October 2006

more on making

Why is it that there is so much pleasure in all this bricolage? Barbara in her soap + furniture polish, me with the bread. The tracklements I love to make. The pickled oranges, the salted lemons + now the lemon chutney I'm about to make. I think it's really a form of play. It has a deep ancient connection to creativity. To change one thing into another is to make a person happy. There are some people who can barely take a look at a thing without having an impulse to change it into another.

Kate Llewellyn, 'Playing with Water', 2005, pp.217-218