I can't resist adding this one to the list:
--The Lameass dudes halting in their tracks at news of Steve-o's demise. Could it be true? Could we seriously be so lucky?
One of the crew is reportedly reconsidering his approach to wildlife. Did he do this after... wait for it... taunting a bunch of sharks and then presenting himself as bait? (According to El Heraldo, he... "pierced a hole through his cheek with a fishing hook that was attached to fishing line and a rod and then, with blood dripping from his face, jumped into the ocean.") NO! It wasn't this act of masculine daredevilry that took our Lameass friend one step too far. It was the impact of Irwin's untimely death at nature's hand. Steve is helping us all from beyond the grave.
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