mmm...

I made the decision to stay put + say hello from work. This way - as theory goes - I can leave the box switched off when I get home + concentrate on other things. Heating up pumpkin + watercress soup, talking to Weeze, mooching. As is usual, the theory does not fit snugly into the reality. I've been surfing, checking long-lost junky bookmarks, singing loudly to Nina Simone, + not feeling inspired to say anything much. It's been a funny, mixed-bag of a week + I don't know where to start.

I've been blue... moo moo, I have been blue. A lazy non-specific melancholia that stems from getting too lost up my own ass. When I contemplate writing/talking/groaning about it I fear dropping dead at my own boringness. There are people in the world with real problems, I know. Serious, unthinkable problems - at a global level. And normal, actual problems - at a local level. A work friend is heart-broken + my general malaise shames me when I'm around her. Her pain is so real, so palpable, + there is absolutely nothing that can be done about it beyond sleeping pills and time. I feel acute empathy for that experience, + relief that I am no longer residing there. And yet I am residing here, head firmly up ass. I'm a bit lonely... so what!? I have a few gripes about the state of things... who really cares!? I can't even muster up a single care.

I've been lost... in myself + that is never the place to be. I read an article on good mental health this week. It suggested an ABC approach to maintaining a sound head: A - being active physically + mentally; B - belonging + being connected to your community; + C - committing to a cause or activity outside of youreslf. No mention of ass.

And I've been found... because there are always the regular glimmers of sunshine in my life which are impossible to paint blue. The paint won't stick, no matter how hard I throw it.
--I wore pink pants today (trousers, not undies) + that was fun. I've never worn pink pants before. It felt somehow optimistic + risque. Also somehow like I was at work in my jammies, but there you go. I matched them with a black dress and a beautiful Oroton silk scarf that I found at the oppie for 50c. Hooray for oppie treasures!
--I've been walking to work (mostly) and taking time to smell the freesias. Freesias and freshly mown grass... is there anything that says suburban springtime more loudly or convincingly.
--The Crafty Ladies Circle held its inaugral meeting at my place last night, + I've been smiling ever since. Smokey, Toni, Gin, Shady + I drank tea, ate Smokey's divine choc-chip cookies, + embarked on all manner of conversations + creative endeavours. It felt like a lovely success. I was struck by the fact that I've been wanting to do this since coming to the Gong more than two years ago... when no moment was more right than last night. In fact, two years ago I didn't know any of the aforementioned ladies. So it may have been a very lonely gathering! Thank you, thank you, thank you to friends new + old. What would life be without you? Absolutely nuthin... huh... say it again.
--And speaking of friends... I got two atomic comments this week. So exciting! Well, actually one was exciting + one was Sarah being a hooplehead. Thanks so much for stopping in to say hello Griff. Lovely to connect + hear some news. I'm still listening to your Ping Pong mix tape and lovin it.

And now for soup. Home James...