move me

sometimes these old nights can seem to never end
+ when you find relief in sleep
well you may wish to never wake again

i drink in bars
+ try my best
but these mannequins are too well dressed

+ i don't think that i can fake another year
without feeling something
cos i've been numb for too long
i need a hit of something sweet (i don't know)

when you feel nothing
the nights hold no meaning
except you've gotta wake up sometime

+ i don't think that i wanna wake up on my own no more
i've tried just about everything that's come my way
+ i hold no fear left in my heart apart from mediocrity

one day i might find a muse
+ in her i hope to lose every song i've ever written
or am yet to write about feeling nothing

so we drink in bars
+ try our best
but these mannequins are too well dressed

+ i don't think that i can fake another year without it

('Mannequins' by Josh Pyke)

Feeling a teensy bit sorry for meself after my first meeting with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named in a long, long time. Still so much regret + sadness tied up there. When will this bugger of a thing ever really be over? What do you do with the pieces of a broken heart? A fraught couple of days in fact, made worse by insomnia, bad hair + attempting to focus through 14 hours of software training. It's lucky that Josh understands, I tell ya.

And thank the heavens for old friends, good company + homemade nachos. Thank you Ms Nicole Barakat! (First ever full-name-inclusion on these pages - just so it comes up on your Google alert mate.) Last night was fun. News, tea drinking, a foolish wee spliff. We flipped through Nico's photos + that blew my mind. Other people's photos alway do. There's something quite spooky about an alternate record of experiences + times I've shared in. My doppelganger exists in the pages of someone else's album.

Was tops to see Nat + Scott on Sunday too. Several of my faves rolled into one evening: those two; a walk at the beach; fish + chips; + home via Newtown for hokey-pokey gelato. It doesn't get much better. Amazing to recognise that as the last outing for the three of us pre-baby. Nat is fit to explode + I am so excited but... in the spirit of all that is honest + open... a little sad too. The end of an era.

It's okay to be sad sometimes.