i - for one - am sorry

I had an interesting experience last night. (One word for it at least.)

I went to a beauty parlour, which is interesting in its own right. A new world for me, + one that I entered for the first time this year when I made the decision to wax my eyebrows + tint my eyelashes. Another vain attempt at embracing femininity + keeping up with my more-worldly girlfriends.

The experience isn’t nearly as traumatic as I'd expected. I could even go so far as to say that it's mildly relaxing, reclining on a vinyl-covered bed + being tended to by a busy, buzzy little professional. My ‘therapist’ is called Chloe + she’s sweet in the way that brainless 20-year-olds can be. She works hard at talking to me + makes sympathetic noises in response to comments that she can’t possibly relate to. She would like to work where I work because of the "peace + quiet", not understanding that there is none. She thinks it would be great to go to the places I go + see the bands I see, even though she hasn’t heard of any of them. She’s been in her current job for a "really long time" (18 months) + can’t see herself sticking with it forever. She bright + breezy + well-meaning, + she agrees to "keep my look natural" before she strips my eyebrows to within an inch of their life.

But racism reared its ugly head amid last night's harmless chit chat. We were talking about options for going out in Wollongong + a nite-spot that Chloe's boyfriend "won't let her go to". Fair enough I guess. I'm not one for letting a bloke tell me what I can or can't do, but at the same time there are some seedy spots around town + a little concern for welfare is something to be valued. However it turns out that she's not allowed to go "cos it's full of druggies + blacks". I lost the power of rational thought at this last comment + had my jaw on the floor for the next 15 minutes.

It's a situation I loathe - someone slips in a fleeting racist remark, thinking it's completely acceptable, + then moves straight to their next inane point of conversation. I have never known how to handle it + always end up disappointed in myself + my inability to stand up for my values in a direct way. I said nothing last night + slunk away from the salon feeling ashamed + conflicted (Should I go back there? What do I do next?) . Ethan + I workshopped possible options for handling that situation over dinner + I have promised myself that I'll give one a go next time rather than staying silent.

The whole thing left me rattled though + this dissonance was only reinforced by today's news. Under the patronising title of Blacks, be patient: Abbott the Herald explored our government's complete + ongoing ineptitude when it comes to the welfare of Aboriginal people, particularly in the area of health. The snapshot statistics at the bottom of this article are disturbing, to say the least. It's shameful to live in a wealthy, 'civilised' country where our indigenous people have a life expectancy that is 17 years below that of the general population.

In the same day's news is the sale of an Emily Kame Kngwarreye painting for more than a million dollars. This is a major achievement for Aboriginal art + about bloody time. Kngwarreye's work is a sublimely beautiful national treasure +, as the article points out, this is the highest price ever paid for an indigenous artwork and a piece made by a woman artist - black or white. But where will this money go? Nowhere near Kngwarreye's family or community, instead lining the pockets of some already-wealthy art-dealer. One lucky recipient of an amount that's about a 30th of the annual budget allocated to indigenous health over the next four years.

Tomorrow is Sorry Day. I would like to add my voice + apologise to the Aboriginal people of this country for the injustices that they have suffered, + continue to suffer, under white occupation. I will try harder to confront racism where I find it + be braver in standing up for what I believe in.

You can find out more here + join the Close the Gap campaign by simply signing a petition.