oops… i did it again…

I fucked with my heart + have been a giant misery-guts since returning from my interstate dirty weekend last Tuesday. Melbourne-boy turned out to be emotional-retard-boy but this couldn’t be discovered by lengthy phone conversations or countless (in hindsight) clues. Ooooh no, it took a four-day visit + great expense to figure that out. I came home feeling disappointed, despondent, defeated… pick another ‘d’ word. Dunce perhaps. Disaster-zone. It has knocked me around + left me feeling unlovable.

In a concerted effort to focus on the good stuff I’m…

Smiling at… My mates. All those people who are there to mop up the mess when I get it wrong. Ethan + Jason for the male perspective debrief-and-beer session. Carolyn, Jen, Rob, Nancy + Hedley for letting me make like they’re my surrogate family when I need functional family lovin the most. Nats for her no-bullshit way of setting me straight. Smokey for being a major sweetie + for the ‘grumpy old women retirement plan’ – exactly what I needed, you beautiful thing, thank you. Charlotte + Justin for letting me hang out in their loungeroom + cuddle their dog. My ma for doing her best.

Seeing Adi in Melbourne – how gorgeous are you right now girl!?

Being me. Open to new experiences; brave enough to take a risk for someone who turned out to be a coward; brave enough to make a mistake + admit to it; a bloody great softie with no option of being anything else.

Eating… Slim + Jaci’s homemade chokky truffles. I don’t normally go in for Easter but… mmmmmm… homemade truffles, all different varieties, couveture chocolate. Sometimes I love coming from a foodie family! Carolyn’s potato salad. Hot cross buns. Homemade chicken + corn soup. A pretty good weekend after all!

Listening to… The swag of CDs that Ethan lent me. Old favourites like Dandy Warhols, Foo Fighters, Black Crows, Led Zep, plus new leads. Great stuff. I’m also completely smitten with Kings of Leon’s new single – On Call. Can’t help it, it’s suckered me in + is number one on the current wishlist. Why can’t I find that sentiment in a fella!? (Oh, + the floppy hair + swooning doesn't hurt either.)

Watching… Rom coms + the usual twaddle I subject myself to when low. A really good BBC telemovie last night – My Family + Other Animals – highly recommended. Moonlighting, on a whim, + it is hilarious! It would be good to organise a compulsory screening for the yoooof of today, to show them just how wrong 80s fashion can be.

Bouncing back right now. Stay tuned for Cheerful Clairey.