feeling grateful

For sisters. For mine in particular. For having someone in my life who I can lose my shit with + know that's okay. We all need someone who's there at the end of the phone when we're weepy + nonsensical. And I've got you. Thanks Weeze.

for weeze

feeling grateful

I read about a project in Frankie magazine. A girl who takes a photo of something she's grateful for each day. Sounds slightly cheesey + I definitely hit cheese when I sought it out minus the magazine reference. Lots of happy folk out in internet land, taking daily photos of flowers + kittens + sunbeams. Not that I have an objection to this... clearly. But the initial project was heaps cool: lovely, grainy, light-saturated polaroid aesthetic coupled with meaningful, personal, poetic subject matter. I dug it. So much so that I thought I might adopt it.

This was Sunday's photo. I was grateful for feet that could embrace movement of a non-clutch/brake/accelerator variety + for legs that could take me somewhere other than another roadhouse or skeazy toilet.

By yesterday I'd lost the plot slightly (still blaming insomnia + general panic) + forgot to take my photo. I knew exactly what it would be: Adi + Angelo tucking into a plateful of amazing four dollar pizza. I felt the blessing of familiar faces in strange places. I lapped up the hugs like a starving puppy. I got a strange kick out of Angelo's poetry tangent + Adi's low blood sugar moment. But I forgot to take the photo. Maybe the daily practice project isn't for me. Or maybe I'll kick it off again today + ignore the blip.

PS: I promise I'll give credit where credit's due + reference the '365 days grateful' polaroid project properly. I just need to find a copy of the mag first!

times they are a-changin

Hello my lovely little handful of loyal readers. I'm back + hopefully this time it's for good. Such an enormous couple of weeks/months/years. In the last five days I've travelled across three states + several thousand kilometres. And now here I am... IN MELBOURNE. On the verge of overwhelm. Riding a wave somewhere between terror + excitement, + seemingly nowhere near the shores of sanity.

Another horrible insomnia run, coinciding with the travelling of vast distances, hasn't helped matters much. I've just seen the back of Night Five. My nocturnal brain churned out a few (dozen) doozies before finally agreeing to pop a chill-pill + fade into oblivion. Four + a half hours shut-eye on my cousin Ren's air mattress. My best sleep all week. I now feel calm, collected + semi-sane. I'm looking back over last night's assortment of thoughts, wondering if they have merit or are merely the rantings of the sleep-deprived. I think I can pluck a few moments of sense from out the dross...

--FEAR FACTOR #1: the Big Smoke. Melbourne is a city, in the same way that Sydney is a city. What makes it scary is that I don't know it yet. This will change fairly rapidly. If I can live in London + Sydney, I can live in Melbourne.

--FEAR FACTOR #2: the unknown. This is one of those points in time where the unknown is the default setting. There's no avoiding that. In fact it would be counter-productive to have any set idea of what comes next. I'm open to it. I'm ready + willing + able. So lay your cards on the table.

--FEAR FACTOR #3: loneliness. Toughen up princess! I know a few people here. I know lots of people elsewhere. There's a friendly voice as close as the phone + someone I can call on for a cuppa. That means there's very little to whinge about.

--FEAR FACTOR #4: cash. If it runs out it runs out. There's always the dole + my mum's couch. I'm not going to end up in a cardboard box. And if I purchase a few less snacks + fripperies I could maybe even stretch my cash further.

Countering the fears are always the glimmers of hope. There's one key glimmer... writing, creating, making, putting the inside out. It keeps the smart beans ticking along in my brain + the black dog in her hidey hole. That's why I kicked off this forum for sub-atomic musings + that's why you can expect to see more of me from now on. Promise.

hello stranger

It's been a while but, boy oh boy, do I have some stories to tell. I've had a lovely couple of weeks... catching up with family, soaking up some culcha in Perth, chilling in the forest + exploring the south-west. The wildflowers are lighting up the bush, the wineries are buzzing + I wouldn't be surprised if Fremantle has more gelato per capita than Rome. All good!

Some highlights...

--OUR FAMILY GET-TOGETHER: We had a long weekend in Perth to celebrate my Nana's 90th birthday. Such a treat to see my immediate fam for the first time in three months + to hang out with 'the kids'. Most importantly, I think Nana was thrilled to have us all together for the first time in a long time.

--MY BIRTHPLACE: There's been a bit of whinging about Perth but I thought it had a good laid-back feel. And actually it felt like a laid-back mega-metropolis after all my quiet time in the country. My flying visit gave me just enough time to hang with the monkeys, explore Freo + the city, devour the contents of several galleries, catch a good flick + spend way too much bookshop money. I was stoked with the state gallery's Wonderlust exhibition. It included several old favourites and a handful of pieces that I've long loved from afar (i.e. in books + not in the flesh). Culture Warriors (the National Indigenous Art Triennial) was on too + was a stunning, challenging, moving show. Really, bottom line, it doesn't take much more than art + gelato to keep me happy!

--PEOPLE: I had heaps of fun with my Mum's mate Kath in Perth, then was the esteemed first guest at Libby + Martin's new farm. After bidding some sad farewells, I started my slow drive back to Albany + spent a night with the very gorgeous Billy + Elaine. I was shy about rockin up on a stranger's doorstep but am sooooo glad I did. Billy has built their place from scratch in the forest near Pemberton + it is serious fairytale stuff. The creative inspiration continued - beautiful home, delicious slow food, amazing stories, a few sneaky joints. (Honestly, those older folk are corrupting!) I've been such a lucky duck, surrounded by wonderful warm people in my time away.

--NATURE: Holy moly this is a beautiful part of the world! The southern forests are majestic, enormous, ancient. Billy + Elaine recommended a fabulous sculpture walk at Northcliffe, which combined art + nature + even more wildflowers. I could have spent another 100 days just wandering about + breathing it all in.

Unfortunately there's no 100 days left at my disposal. The last moments of my wild west adventure are flying by. It's hard to believe that next week I'll be making the long trek back to the eastern states but that's the truth of the matter! More sad goodbyes + happy hellos to come.

for weeze

sunday self portrait

for weeze