new work

Finally posting some photos of new work I exhibited last month.

The series of four mixed media drawings is titled the frog in my throat, the dog in my guts, the bird in my heart, the fox in my mind (+ me in my hands) - yes, possibly the longest title ever! They were included in an exhibition called Gender Show, which my friend Virginia Mawer curated + which ran on campus for about three weeks. It was an interesting + varied show, with about 20 participating artists.

The images aren't very good unfortunately... I'm yet to befriend a professional photographer... but at least they give you an idea of what I've been up to. It's a new direction for me - continuing to move away from objects + towards drawing. I still feel quite excited by it + looking forward to finding more time for it (as ever).

happy happy

I’m still mildly down. In that non-descript, dispassionate and incredibly boring kinda way. And yet there is so much joy to be eked out.

Highlights from a quiet Friday…

--fabulous love life advice from Anthony. He’s a sage, with previous notable sage-ness being “find a good geek”. Our most recent exchange was set off by Jaci’s fabulous picture…

…which then led to happy pants (as MC Hammer must)… which then led to a spectacularly happy pair of monster pants…

+ then… well… somehow ended up at love life, as all of my conversations still seem to.

A: It's good to give up on dating. I've never dated because the true way to secure a partner is to really really enjoy your single life, plan cool individual things to do, start lots of hobbies, go out every night, smoke cones, drink and revel in the fact you can do whatever you want with abandon... only then will your beloved come along.

Me: Oh yeh, I know. My cone smoking days are well over, but I work pretty hard on the rest. Thanks for the words of wisdom... you smug partnered bastard.

A: I forgot the most important step - you have to not want a partner ever and must want to remain single forever in order to enjoy such things that will never come about. Don't count your cone smoking days as over before they're hatched… you might need it as fall back one day hehe.

--discussion with Bez about stoopid smoothie names + how much of an ass I feel when asking for a banarama or chocko rocko. I suggested going with simple numbers until Bez pointed out that a number two smoothie might not inspire the masses.

But still… My favourite beverage from the campus smoothie operator is called gym junkie. Well how freakin incongruous is that? No way am I waltzing up and saying that out loud. I’m just waiting for someone to say “Hey! You! Lardy pants! Whaddaya need one of those for?” In this case, number two might be more fitting, cos it’s packed with spirulina and is always welcomed back in the office by cries of “Omigod! That’s green!” As if I was completely unaware.

--the general animal email theme that got going. We had giant fake mastiffs, old kinkajous, Paris, and sheep in poodle clothing. So so much fun.

--being asked for a cuddle by Brave Smokey cos she was down. You should do that more often mate. It's a win-win situation + we all like those.

--the fact that Carol got her job, official-like, after acting in it the bomb for so many months. It's hard to pick a person who is more genuinely sweet or more deserving of good things.

--watching Secretary again with Jason. Such a beautiful, sensual, thought-provoking film. And Maggie Gyllenhaal... hot hot hot.

--laughing so hard at several of the above. Laughing til my sides hurt. It's hard to get better than that.

Okey dokes... off to do some cool individual things. See ya!

wishlist add

A duck handle umbrella.

Red please.

My umbrella is a piece of shit. And it's raining. Lots.

holding on to the good stuff

I did something for emotional-retard-boy before I realised he was so. It was embarrassing at the time - to do something cool + spontaneous for someone who turned out to be neither - but when I think about it now I have to smile. Hopefully one day the inspiration will hit for someone who's worth it. In the meantime I'm going to capture the Cool + Spontaneous Thing here for posterity*.

A couple of weeks before my ill-fated visit to Melbourne I stumbled into a crazy mood. There's no point in fighting those damn things, so I went with it. I packed up a Dirty Weekend Emergency Kit + sent it on down. It contained:

--a couple of photos of myself (in case he'd forgotten what I look like)
--a couple of disguises - groucho mo, glow-in-the dark glasses, tiara (in case he was disappointed by what I look like)
--a list of cool questions I'd come up with (in case we ran out of conversation)
--a mills+boon-style novella (in case we ran out of romance)
--a pack of uno (in case we ran out of things to do)
--a plastic donkey (in case either of us felt like an ass + needed company)
--a packet of clinkers

If I'd known he was going to show all his friends I probably wouldn't have slipped the Nympho Librarian in with the photos. Oops... how did that get there?

If I'd stopped to consider that the donkey could be a reference to package-size I never would've gone there.

If I'd known the uno was going to come in so handy I would've splurged on pick-up-sticks or maybe even guess who. (Anything other than scrabble!)

If I'd known that questions along the lines of Chicken or duck?, If you could invite anyone over to dinner who would it be?, and What was the happiest time in your life? would be "wooooahhh, too heavy man" I could've saved myself an airfare.

Live + learn, my friends. Live + learn. (Or maybe that should be live + laugh at myself!?)

*An aside: Is posterity a real word? Or does 'posterity' refer to the 'posterior' +, hence, 'arse'. I always wonder about that one.

crossing paths

A teensy black cat has moved into the flats across the way. Her name is Artemis + this week she has started hanging out at my place. For the last three mornings she has been there, big eyes staring, when I open my blinds. Hanging out, comfortable in the thyme patch.

She is very shy, but we have started talking to each other. I like our tentative conversations.

I think I will miss her when I go.

gobstopper

Actually got a good word-of-the-day from the OED. Normally it's pretty crap.

infix, v.
1. To fix or fasten (one thing) in (another); to implant or insert firmly. To affix. To fix or fasten on something.
2. To fix (a fact, etc.) in the mind or memory, so as to cause a deep impression; to impress.
3. To insert (a formative element) in the body of a word.

Particularly like the second definition.

a life + its poetry to explore

I decided – after three years of working in one – that I should really make better use of the library. I don’t know how this will sit with another recent decision: to stop pretending that I read. But life is all about taking chances.

I came home with a crateload of books. Staggering under the weight. Most are academic + will probably be my undoing. (Not enough pretty pictures. Too many unfathomable words.) But fortuitously the first I picked up was a book of poetry from 1982. Small Blue View by Pamela Brown. It felt somehow prophetic… a completely random find, looking for something else, + the first titled ‘a poem almost in the coalcliff style’. I read the whole thing in five minutes. (Confession: there are only seven poems.)

I would like to write a poem every day. Today’s would be about daydreaming. Listening to Daft Punk on the walk to work + imagining myself as a film clip. Music's got me feeling so free, celebrate and dance so free, one more time. Crossing the oval in backflips + cartwheels. Making my journey free-running style, like the yamakasi dudes on telly last night. Strong body, strong spirit, strong man.

My favourite… in a complete breach of copyright…

nothing at all

i’ve talked away
my best ideas.

i move through
some landscapes
looking for places
i cannot locate.

what can
i tell you?
what can I say?

these little
erratic signals,
little poems,

they’re
all there is.

i would like
to have
‘staying power’
or become
‘a model
of consistency’

but I like
words like
‘useless’

nothing
occurs to me
at all.

Thank you Pamela Brown.

illustration friday: green

my companion will be
sweet + faithful.
we will play,
be green together,
+ not afraid.

flick it, flick it good

A selection of photos from ClaireFest - le grande 30th birthday celebrations of 2006 - is now, finally, available to view on my Flickr page. Hope you enjoy the shenanigans as much as I did.

oops… i did it again…

I fucked with my heart + have been a giant misery-guts since returning from my interstate dirty weekend last Tuesday. Melbourne-boy turned out to be emotional-retard-boy but this couldn’t be discovered by lengthy phone conversations or countless (in hindsight) clues. Ooooh no, it took a four-day visit + great expense to figure that out. I came home feeling disappointed, despondent, defeated… pick another ‘d’ word. Dunce perhaps. Disaster-zone. It has knocked me around + left me feeling unlovable.

In a concerted effort to focus on the good stuff I’m…

Smiling at… My mates. All those people who are there to mop up the mess when I get it wrong. Ethan + Jason for the male perspective debrief-and-beer session. Carolyn, Jen, Rob, Nancy + Hedley for letting me make like they’re my surrogate family when I need functional family lovin the most. Nats for her no-bullshit way of setting me straight. Smokey for being a major sweetie + for the ‘grumpy old women retirement plan’ – exactly what I needed, you beautiful thing, thank you. Charlotte + Justin for letting me hang out in their loungeroom + cuddle their dog. My ma for doing her best.

Seeing Adi in Melbourne – how gorgeous are you right now girl!?

Being me. Open to new experiences; brave enough to take a risk for someone who turned out to be a coward; brave enough to make a mistake + admit to it; a bloody great softie with no option of being anything else.

Eating… Slim + Jaci’s homemade chokky truffles. I don’t normally go in for Easter but… mmmmmm… homemade truffles, all different varieties, couveture chocolate. Sometimes I love coming from a foodie family! Carolyn’s potato salad. Hot cross buns. Homemade chicken + corn soup. A pretty good weekend after all!

Listening to… The swag of CDs that Ethan lent me. Old favourites like Dandy Warhols, Foo Fighters, Black Crows, Led Zep, plus new leads. Great stuff. I’m also completely smitten with Kings of Leon’s new single – On Call. Can’t help it, it’s suckered me in + is number one on the current wishlist. Why can’t I find that sentiment in a fella!? (Oh, + the floppy hair + swooning doesn't hurt either.)

Watching… Rom coms + the usual twaddle I subject myself to when low. A really good BBC telemovie last night – My Family + Other Animals – highly recommended. Moonlighting, on a whim, + it is hilarious! It would be good to organise a compulsory screening for the yoooof of today, to show them just how wrong 80s fashion can be.

Bouncing back right now. Stay tuned for Cheerful Clairey.